A couple of days ago I was speaking to a number of my clients during a workshop and discussing possible ways to understand how to love ourselves better. They’ve an accumulative effect but may also be used one at a time. Enjoy loving yourself from now on.
Grab a sheet of paper and for once, make the effort of defining what you LIKE in yourself, rather than finding whatever it is that you think needs changing/improving. Identify 3 things you enjoy in each of the following areas:
Bodily – define 3 items you enjoy on your body, including your face: your hair, your walking style, your height, your posture… anything.
Psychological – define 3 traits in you that you enjoy: generous, hard-working, sentimental… anything.
Abilities – define 3 abilities you have that you like: great handwriting, well organized, quick learner… anything.
Each morning after breakfast and every evening before going to bed, look at yourself in the mirror, look deeply into your eyes, and remind one of these 9 things you want in yourself. Praise them. Educating yourself for them. Do not forget that there are AT LEAST 9 items in you which you like.
It may be hard, especially at the beginning, because we are so used to doing just the opposite and searching for flaws, mistakes and so on. Give yourself a break and be honest; stop JUST trying to find the bad in you and begin searching for, and praising, the GOOD.
Identify and Increase your model
To begin with, ask yourself who your teacher was. Who taught you how you can enjoy yourself as a human being? As soon as you identify who you heard it from, ask yourself whether you really like the way that individual loved him or herself. Is that the sort of love that you want to provide yourself? If it’s, can you improve it? If it is not, can not you find a better role model to imitate? The role model does not have to be a person that you know but may also be a character in a book or film. Yes, I know they may not be”real” but what they are portraying is the sort of love that you want to provide yourself. Concentrate on this and find out what they do to transmit that love. At the end of the day, you only need to know how to do it better.
If you are like many others, every time someone bothers you, your mind immediately looks for some sort of fault in you to counteract the positive remark you might receive. By way of instance, someone says something nice about your hair or clothing now; your mind instantly reminds you of the…”yes, but even if this looks OK these days, it’s usually horrible,” or”yes, but look at my nose, even the best haircut can not hide that ugly thing in my head,” or something of this sort. Sounds familiar?
I challenge you to turn your”yes buts” the other way round. Every time you hear OR THINK something negative about yourself, I would like you to make the attempt to consciously say, think or replicate a”yes but” in a positive sense. (which would usually cause you to feel bad for a while following the idea happened). This time I want you to”yes and” it in a positive manner…”yes, which means I want to test that new hat on,” or”yes, and that is why I can do it in a different fashion today” or whatever ends the thinking process on a positive note.
Let us create some new ones for ourselves.
Worth your actions
If you began applying the first recommendation, then you should already be valuing 9 positive things in you. Now I would like you to feel grateful also. Every day, before going to sleep, consider 3 things you did . Value your job or your own contribution. Celebrate having done those great deeds and congratulate yourself for them. Feel thankful for everything that led you in order to do what you did. Feel grateful for the individuals who made it possible; feel thankful for your abilities, knowledge or skills; feel thankful for being there when you needed to; feel thankful for having decided to do whatever it’s you did… Feel thankful for being you. Gratitude is a really powerful feeling which makes our brains release dopamine, which reduces stress, improves our mood and our levels of energy and motivation.
Give yourself expect
Another little but effective tool to appreciate oneself is giving ourselves the gift of hope. And I do not mean sleeping. Before you go to sleep but as soon as you’re already in bed, I would like you to daydream. The only rule is that the dreams are favorable. If a negative thought attempts to put in your head, make the conscious effort to replace it and return to your happy reverie. Imagine them in fantastic detail and have the pleasure of an artist making a wonderland. Let yourself enjoy the joyful feeling; after all, it is only in your imagination. But… your brain does not know it! When we make the conscious attempt to envision and attempt to experience joyful feelings, our mind believes the”fantasy” and begins releasing chemical products which make us feel great: endorphines, oxytocin and such. Because of this, our bodies relax and not only can we really sleep better, which is a significant gift in itself, but once again, our mind discovers new avenues into happier feelings. Consider this time a present to yourself. We are not daydreaming to make a new reality; this isn’t the power we are trying to use. The objective is to get a pleasant, hopeful time to allow our minds and bodies unwind and make us feel good about life.
These five simple exercises will gradually allow you to love yourself . By loving yourself , you may start having better feelings about yourself and, because of this, around the globe. You’ll soon begin feeling better in general. After all, we can not change the world unless we change ourselves first.
Choose the sort of life you need to call home. Choose to love yourself and others will see the love in you.